Where to buy this CD: CDJapan
Haruka Nanase : Nobunaga Shimazaki
Makoto Tachibana : Tatsuhisa Suzuki
Nagisa Hazuki : Tsubasa Yonaga
Rei Ryuugazaki : Daisuke Hirakawa
Gou Matsuoka : Akeno Watanabe
Rin Matsuoka : Mamoru Miyano
Seijuurou Mikoshiba : Kenjirou Tsuda
Ai’ichirou Nitori : Kouki Miyata
Haruka Nanase (young) : Megumi Matsumoto
Nagisa Hazuki (young) : Satomi Satou
[HARUKA swimming in the pool]
GOU: Haruka-senpai! You can do it!
MAKOTO: Good job, Haru. Here, grab on.
[MAKOTO pulls HARUKA out]
MAKOTO: You shortened your time again.
HARUKA: I told you, I’m not interested in shortening my time.
MAKOTO: Same as usual, you are.
NAGISA: Haru-chan! Mako-chan! I reached my best time, too! Compliment me!
HARUKA: Nagisa, you’re heavy. Don’t hug me from behind.
NAGISA: Ehh, why not?
MAKOTO: Your best time, huh? That’s great, Nagisa.
NAGISA: Hee hee. [NAGISA jumps off] But you reached your best time too, Mako-chan, right?
MAKOTO: I’m in pretty good shape lately.
GOU: Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai, and Nagisa-kun are steadily getting better.
NAGISA: Ah, Gou-chan!
GOU: You three seem to be doing well but… Rei-kun is…
REI: This doesn’t make sense… my time won’t get better…
GOU: He’s upset over how to shorten it…
MAKOTO: Is that so?
GOU: I wonder why? It’s not as if his training menu is lacking.
REI: Of course not. Negligence is not in my character.
HARUKA: So? Are you improving your form?
REI: Yes. I watch the DVDs of world competitive swimming and read textbooks to compare them with my form and improve it from all angles, but…
MAKOTO: Hey, Rei, while you’re improving your form, your time isn’t–
NAGISA: I know! You should shave!
NAGISA: I saw on a TV program somewhere that body hair acts as resistance against the water.
MAKOTO: Oh, I saw that too.
REI: ……So, what exactly are you saying, Nagisa-kun?
NAGISA: Like I said, Rei-chan, you just need to shave.
REI: No. Objection hands-down, no way Jose!
NAGISA: Ehh, why not, Rei-chan?
REI: Why did you think I would even agree in the first place?! Haruka-senpai, help!
HARUKA: Nagisa, stop.
NAGISA: Don’t stop me, Haru-chan! I’m doing this for Rei-chan’s sake!
HARUKA: Rei, give it up.
NAGISA: Rei-chan. You want to shorten your time, don’t you?
REI: Urk…… No, but that’s…
NAGISA: Rei-chan. I think every athlete should aim with all his heart and soul to the top of the sports world!
NAGISA: So! [NAGISA grabs REI] It’ll be fine! Let me handle it!
REI: Eh? …N-Nagisa-kun? Why do you have a hold of me?
NAGISA: I’ll shave you all nice and clean. Let’s go! To the locker room!
REI: Wai– Nagisa-kun! No! Let me go!
NAGISA: You’ll be fine, you’ll be fine!
REI: HOW will I be fine?!
NAGISA: You’ll be all shiny and smooth like a baby’s bottom!
REI: Don’t describe it as if I’m in a soap commercial! I don’t want to be like that! Noooooooo!!!
REI: [defeated] “Part Of A Normal Day” continued…
MAKOTO: Rei and Nagisa are taking a long time…
HARUKA: I’m sure they’ll be back after a little more–
MAKOTO: D-Do you think Rei’s okay?
GOU: You do have to admit feeling a little sorry for him…
MAKOTO: Shaving off all your body hair to make less resistance against the water is normal among Olympic swimmers, but is there anyone in high school who does that?
HARUKA: Who knows…
GOU: My brother does.
REI: [depressed] Why won’t my time go down…
MAKOTO: [walks up] Rei! What’s wrong?
REI: Makoto-senpai. I was wondering what to do about shortening my time…
MAKOTO: Oh. Like I tried to say before, while you’re improving your form, your time is–
NAGISA: I know! It’s your swimsuit!
REI: …Where did you come from, Nagisa-kun…
NAGISA: Don’t look at me as if I’m a maggot, that’s so rude. The cause of all your problems has to be because of your swimsuit!
NAGISA: Yeah. I saw on TV the other day that they invented a swimsuit with fish slime on its surface.
REI: …Already, I’m getting a bad feeling about this…
NAGISA: That’s the sort of swimsuit you need, Rei-chan!
REI: So, wait, let me recap. You’re saying it’s a swimsuit with gel on it that replicates the outer mucus layer of a fish, right? That’s not the kind of swimsuit a high school student is able to afford. Don’t be foolish.
NAGISA: The surface just has to be slimy, right? So… here. [takes out a bottle and squeezes onto his palm] Slime!
REI: N-Nagisa-kun… where did you take that out from?
NAGISA: Never mind the minor details!
REI: It isn’t a “minor” detail! What do you intend to do with that hand?
NAGISA: [grins] Come here, Rei-chan! I’ll make you slimy!
REI: [runs away] No! Get away from me!
NAGISA: [chases] Rei-chan, wait! I swear this will help you reach your best time!
REI: Why is it that everything you come up with is insane?!
NAGISA: I bet it was thanks to crazy ideas like this that Edison and Watson got their inventions!
REI: Watson is a molecular biologist! He’s not an inventor!
MAKOTO: H-Hey! Nagisa and Rei, stop it, the both of you!
REI: You have to stop Nagisa-kun, Makoto-senpai!
MAKOTO: Nagisa, stop it!
NAGISA: Then I’ll make you slimy, Mako-chan.
MAKOTO: Huh?! [backs away] Eh– wa– Nagisa– Wait!!
NAGISA: [pours slime] Slimy slimy!
REI: [claps his hands together in prayer] Makoto-senpai… I will never forget you!
MAKOTO: I’m not dead!
[NAGISA claps a hand on REI's shoulder]
NAGISA: Heh heh heh. Rei-chan. I’ve caught you. ♥
NAGISA: Here you go! Slimy slimy!
NAGISA: All done! Now you’re definitely going to reach your shortest time yet, you two!
MAKOTO: [slipping] I-It’s slippery…!
REI: Look ou– This is pretty dangerous–
[MAKOTO and REI struggle to keep standing]
NAGISA: [giggles] You two look like baby fawns who are learning to walk for the first time.
MAKOTO/REI: And whose fault is that?!
NAGISA: Calm down.
REI: Nagisa-kun…! This really will… help to shorten my time… right?!
NAGISA: You won’t know until you try! Try swimming, Rei-chan!
REI: But… this is… too slippery… I can’t… reach the diving board…!
HARUKA: [walks up] Hey, you guys.
MAKOTO: [wails] Haru!
NAGISA: Haru-chan! I invented a new swimsuit!
HARUKA: A new swimsuit? [pause] Rei… do you intend to go into the pool like that?
REI: Eh? U-Um… yes… Nagisa-kun said that with this swimsuit, I’ll reach my best time… So I’m about to give it a try…
HARUKA: Don’t. You’ll ruin the pool.
MAKOTO: [whispers] Haruka is really angry! What are you going to do about this, Nagisa?!
REI: [whispers] It’s your fault he’s mad at me, Nagisa-kun!
NAGISA: Eh?! You’re mean, you two! It’s not all my fault!
REI: It’s UNMISTAKABLY all your fault! I told you I didn’t want to– [slips] I’m falling!
[REI grabs onto NAGISA]
NAGISA: Wai– Rei-chan! Don’t grab onto me when you’re all slimy like that!
MAKOTO: [yells] Nagisa! Don’t push me! I-I’m slipping…!
NAGISA: B-But Rei-chan grabbed me…! [slips]
REI: It’s not like I can help it…!
NAGISA: Rei-chan…! Let go…! Of me…!
MAKOTO: I said, don’t push me Nagisa!
NAGISA: But Rei-chan won’t let go of me!
REI: I’m trying my best here too, you know…! …Wai– Nagisa-kun! Don’t move! Look out!
[All three go sliding into the pool]
HARUKA: [sighs] They’re all idiots.
[REI opens his boxed lunch]
NAGISA: Eh? Did you make that lunch yourself, Rei-chan?
NAGISA: This fried chicken too? This boiled spinach doused with bonito flakes and soy sauce too?
REI: That’s right.
MAKOTO: Wow, that’s amazing, Rei. Haru makes his own lunch too.
MAKOTO: He’s absorbed in his own lunch of mackerel…
NAGISA: Then, Rei-chan, does that mean you’ve made all of your lunches that I’ve seen before?
REI: Of course. It’s easier for me to control my daily nutrients that way. Nagisa-kun, why don’t you learn to cook something rather than eat bread all the time? These days, a man who cooks is popular.
NAGISA: Is that so? Hmm, but I like eating “rock” and “hopping” bread, so it’s okay!
HARUKA: Hopping bread?
REI: What sort of bread is that? The name just killed my appetite.
NAGISA: It’s bread with strawberry jam, marmalade, and chocolate on top and only worth the cheap price of 480 yen!
REI: What’s cheap about it?! That’s expensive!!
HARUKA: Just hearing that gave me a toothache…
NAGISA: Eh, but it’s really tasty! Here, Haru-chan, have a bite.
HARUKA: No, I don’t want to.
NAGISA: Now, now, don’t say that. Here, aah.
[NAGISA shoves his bread into HARU's mouth]
HARUKA: [coughs] T-Too sweet!
MAKOTO: Hey, stop that, Nagisa! Water! Rei, bring water!
NAGISA: Eh, why?
REI: Makoto-senpai, here. Water.
MAKOTO: Rei, thanks. Here, Haru. Drink this.
[HARUKA drinks and coughs]
MAKOTO: Are you okay, Haru?
NAGISA: Ehh… [bites] But it tastes so good…
REI: Nagisa-kun… No matter how I see it, that bread is nutritionally unbalanced.
NAGISA: Is it? I never really thought about healthy eating, but maybe I should start?
MAKOTO: Well, it may be better to know how to cook than to not know at all.
HARUKA: Nagisa, I can teach you how to cook mackerel.
REI: Mackerel is a very exceptional food that contains many nutrients. Its health benefits include immunity from lifestyle diseases, antioxidants, and is good for the skin. It’s even said to be very effective for brain development.
REI: Makoto-senpai, I think that your lunch is also very well-balanced. It contains enough calories to support your physique.
MAKOTO: Oh, I see. My mom makes lunch for me every day, so I don’t know the first thing about nutrition…
NAGISA: Haru-chan and Rei-chan make their own lunches, and Mako-chan’s mom makes his lunch, huh… Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
MAKOTO: Nagisa? Why are you raising your hand?
NAGISA: Let’s say if each of us was a girl and we were to go out with someone in this group, who would you pick?
HARUKA: Why did the topic suddenly turn to that?
REI: I have absolutely no idea.
NAGISA: It’s a hypothetical question!
MAKOTO: Why did talking about lunches turn to talking about dating?
NAGISA: Because Rei-chan said [imitates REI] ‘A man who cooks is popular.’ So I was wondering, if we were girls, who would we pick?
REI: That wasn’t an imitation of me, was it?
NAGISA: I sounded just like you, didn’t I?
NAGISA: [imitates REI] No.
NAGISA: I would pick… hmm… I wonder… Not Rei-chan. You seem to get too hung up by details.
REI: What are you saying, Nagisa-kun? You’ll find no partner more perfect than I am.
NAGISA: Eh? Really? But Rei-chan, you’ll definitely be a huge nagger. Always telling me not to spill things or to tuck my shirt in, and stuff.
REI: Me, a nagger? Listen. I have confidence in my memory, so I would never forget special days like birthdays. I can cook, and manage my time so I would never be late for a date. I would research beforehand the places we’d go, and even research the best path to take to the restaurant where I’ve already put in a reservation, so I would be the perfect escort for my date from start to finish. I would make a date enjoyable, leaving nothing to be desired.
MAKOTO: H-Haru… did you just think that Rei sounded like an infomercial?
HARUKA: How could you tell?
MAKOTO: [laughs] Because I thought so too.
NAGISA: Then, Rei-chan, who would you want to go out with among the guys here?
REI: Myself, of course.
NAGISA: That’s… um… That’s very sad.
HARUKA: Really sad.
MAKOTO: Don’t say that. That’s who Rei is.
REI: Makoto-senpai… you’re not helping…
NAGISA: Then what about you, Mako-chan? Who would you go out with?
MAKOTO: Me? Well, let me see… hmm… I’ve been with Haru since we were kids, so I feel relaxed around him, and Nagisa is a cheerful person, so I have fun being around him, and Rei is upright, so I feel like I can expect him to take really good care of me… You all have your good points. Hmm… I can’t choose.
[All three sigh]
MAKOTO: Eh? Huh? What’s wrong, guys?
NAGISA: Um… what do we call that kind of attitude again?
REI: Makoto-senpai… You’re going to be in trouble one day…
MAKOTO: Wha– why?!
HARUKA: Being too nice brings the worst results.
MAKOTO: Not you too, Haru!
NAGISA: Then what about you, Haru-chan? Who would you choose?
HARUKA: It just seems easiest.
REI: That’s your reason?
NAGISA: Ehh, you picked Mako-chan?
REI: Well, Makoto-senpai is kind and he seems likely to treat the person he dates with respect.
NAGISA: Hey, Haru-chan! If I was your boyfriend, I’ll cook mackerel for you for breakfast every morning!
HARUKA: I choose Nagisa.
REI: Haruka-senpai’s decisions all center around mackerel…
MAKOTO: I lost to mackerel…
[RIN is swimming and reaches the pool end]
NITORI: Matsuoka-senpai, good work today! Here’s your towel!
RIN: Oh, thanks.
NITORI: Senpai, congratulations! You shortened your time again!
[RIN tosses the towel at NITORI]
RIN: Nitori. Don’t get giddy over a time length like this. I’m aiming higher.
NITORI: Well, perhaps, but getting a record that’s better than before is a good thing, isn’t it?
RIN: This is just a checkpoint. (That’s right. It’s just a checkpoint. I have to get even faster.)
[RIN walks away. MIKOSHIBA pats him on the back]
MIKOSHIBA: Hey, good work today!
NITORI: Ah, Captain Mikoshiba! Good day!
MIKOSHIBA: You two sure do get along with each other… Oh, right, you’re roommates too, aren’t you?
NITORI: Yes, that’s right!
RIN: We’re not that close.
MIKOSHIBA: Don’t be embarrassed to admit it! [MIKOSHIBA slaps RIN's back]
RIN: I-I’m not embarrassed and that hurts!
MIKOSHIBA: But Nitori, isn’t it tough sharing a room with Matsuoka? This guy’s anti-social and he doesn’t look like he can cook or anything.
RIN: (He’s talking shit about me…)
NITORI: That’s actually not true at all! Matsuoka-senpai is very responsible. Surprising, isn’t it?
RIN: Nitori, you’ll pay for that later.
NITORI: Eh? Did I say something wrong?
RIN: Forget it.
MIKOSHIBA: I see. Come to think of it, Matsuoka has that little sister Gou-kun, so you must be experienced at looking after people.
RIN: Captain. Can you not call other people’s sisters by their first name?
MIKOSHIBA: Hm? Do I need your permission for that? Then I’m sorry! Matsuoka, please let me call Gou-kun by her first na–
RIN: I won’t allow it!
MIKOSHIBA: [slapping RIN on the back] Now, now! It’s fine! Don’t get so hung up by the details!
RIN: It’s NOT fine, and it’s NOT a detail!
NITORI: But the way Matsuoka-senpai looks after others does make you think, as expected from the oldest child!
RIN: I don’t give a fuck. Never mind me, you ought to learn to be more responsible for yourself, Nitori.
MIKOSHIBA: He does have a point!
NITORI: Even Captain agrees…
MIKOSHIBA: By the way, I’m also a pretty responsible guy!
RIN: You’re the captain, so you have to be responsible…
NITORI: Do you prefer a responsible person, Matsuoka-senpai?
NITORI: Let’s say if you were a girl and you had to date either me or Captain, who would you pick?
RIN: Huh, are you fucking nuts?! How did this come up?
NITORI: It’s just a little fun. Answer me, who would you pick?
MIKOSHIBA: [laughs] Seems interesting! Who will it be, Matsuoka?
RIN: [sighs] What a pain in the ass… (But they look like they’ll keep pestering me until I answer… I’ll just give it a little thought and get back to practice. If I were to date Captain Mikoshiba…)
MIKOSHIBA: [runs up] Hey, Matsuoka! Thank goodness it’s sunny out today, eh! A good day for a date!
RIN: Captain Mikoshiba. Do you know what time it is?
MIKOSHIBA: Hm? It’s five minutes to twelve. Arriving five minutes early is a basic!
RIN: We agreed to meet at eleven!!
MIKOSHIBA: Oh, it was eleven, huh! [laughs] Sorry, sorry! I had the wrong idea!
RIN: Forget it, where do you want to go today?
MIKOSHIBA: Let’s see…
[A wind blows]
MIKOSHIBA: Oh? The wind blew from the north to the south. Okay! Let’s go south!
RIN: Huh? What’s there south?
MIKOSHIBA: No idea! We go wherever the wind takes us!
RIN: Eh? Wai–
MIKOSHIBA: Matsuoka! Let’s go!
[MIKOSHIBA walks off]
RIN: I don’t believe this… He just LEFT ME…
RIN: (Not him. Then if it was Nitori…)
RIN: Oh, you’re here early Nitori.
NITORI: Hello, Matsuoka-senpai! Good morning! Since it’s a date with you, I came here two hours early!
RIN: That’s too early.
NITORI: No, this is normal.
RIN: Forget it. So, where are we going today?
NITORI: How about the shopping mall in front of the station, to go see a movie?
NITORI: I already have the tickets. Here.
RIN: O-Okay… Thanks.
NITORI: Oh, I even made lunch, so tell me when you’re hungry.
NITORI: I even have tea ready, so tell me when you get thirsty.
NITORI: I’ll blow on it to cool it before I give it to you.
NITORI: Also, if you get tired out from walking, I have a camping chair and sun umbrella–
RIN: Ahh, shut up!
RIN: [sighs] (Not him either.)
NITORI: Senpai! Which is it, me or Captain?
MIKOSHIBA: Well, Matsuoka?
RIN: Neither. [walks off]
NITORI: Hey, wait! Senpai!
MAKOTO: (The Iwatobi swim club is out on a training camp right now. Since we don’t have a budget, we pitched up tents along the coast and are spending a rather pleasant time camping out, but… there’s just one problem.)
NAGISA: Thank goodness the hotel allowed us to borrow their bath.
REI: The water comes right from the source here.
MAKOTO: Having a view of the stars above is nice too, since it has its own charm.
HARUKA: I don’t care either way, as long as there’s water I can soak in.
MAKOTO: Haru, don’t spend too long in the bath. You’ll end up overheating.
[They open the door to the bath]
NAGISA: Wow, it’s such a big place! Look, look! Hurry up, you three! I call first!
[NAGISA tosses water over himself and jumps in]
MAKOTO: Hey, Nagisa! Don’t jump into the bathtub!
NAGISA: Hahhhh, this feels great…
MAKOTO: A large bath is really great… Right, Haru?
REI: Soaking in the bath is relaxation to the mind and body. It loosens up the muscles from fatigue.
NAGISA: Come to think of it, Mako-chan has a lot of muscle.
MAKOTO: Me? Do I?
HARUKA: Makoto’s body shape changed rather quickly during training.
MAKOTO: Maybe I do gain muscle easily…
NAGISA: Can I have a feel? Mako-chan, Mako-chan, try flexing.
NAGISA: Whoaaaa, Mako-chan! It’s really firm!
REI: But Makoto-senpai, aren’t you putting on a little too much muscle? If you put on too much muscle, it’ll be more difficult for you to stay afloat.
MAKOTO: I never really thought about it…
NAGISA: Rei-chan, you even think about stuff like that?
REI: Of course. From muscle ratio to body fat percentage, I measure and record those numbers every day, so that I may reach the perfect body for swimming.
HARUKA: Then how come you can only swim butterfly stroke?
[REI sinks down into the water]
MAKOTO: Haru. Rei went down under.
NAGISA: I’m so envious of you guys… I’m trying but I can’t get big…
[REI comes back out of the water]
REI: Then leave that to me!
MAKOTO: Ah, he came back up again.
REI: Nagisa-kun, I’ll think of a menu that will be the easiest way for you to gain muscle!
NAGISA: Eh, really?! Rei-chan, thank you!
MAKOTO: In those terms, Haru seems to have the best body. He has muscle but not too much.
NAGISA: Haru-chan really does give the image of a dolphin.
MAKOTO: Yeah… Oh, then what about me? What’s my image?
NAGISA: Mako-chan is… a whale? No, that’s not it… Hmm…
HARUKA: An orca.
REI: An orca?
NAGISA: Ehh, that’s not Mako-chan’s image! Orcas are vicious, aren’t they?
MAKOTO: Why an orca?
HARUKA: Because Makoto’s swimming is powerful.
REI: Ahhh, it certainly is dynamic.
NAGISA: I see! I guess it does feel like an orca!
MAKOTO: Eh… Really?
REI: Haruka-senpai, what about me?
NAGISA: A hammer. [**Slang for someone who drowns easily]
HARUKA: Rei is a butterfly.
NAGISA: That’s not a fish.
HARUKA: He flies freely, like a butterfly. Without being held back by anything.
REI: Yes… it was Haruka-senpai who told me to fly… A butterfly… a butterfly, huh… How beautiful… It’s perfect for me…
NAGISA: Then what about me?
MAKOTO: I see.
NAGISA: A penguin?! All right!
REI: Eh? You’re happy about that?
NAGISA: I love penguins! The reason I chose this school is not just because Haru-chan and Mako-chan were here, but also because it’s called Iwatobi! [**Rockhopper] You’ve heard of rockhopper penguins, right? I really like the school name!
MAKOTO: Nagisa… I didn’t know you were that much into penguins…
REI: Well, I think it’s perfect. On land you keep hopping up and down, so you’re a spitting image, Nagisa-kun.
NAGISA: Right? But when I’m in water, I’m amazing. Rei-chan, you’re a spitting image too as a butterfly when you go in water and can’t swim!
REI: What do you mean by that? I’m not a total loss at swimming! I can swim butterfly–
[REI and NAGISA argue about butterflies and penguins in the background]
MAKOTO: Despite it all, you keep a good eye over everyone, Haru.
HARUKA: I just see the forms they swim. (If it isn’t good…)
MAKOTO: If it isn’t good form, it’ll make them harder to be one with the water, right?
HARUKA: How could you tell?
MAKOTO: I just can. Do you know how many years we’ve been together?
HARUKA: Then what am I thinking right now?
MAKOTO: Why does that make you act stubborn? …Let’s see… “Makoto, you dummy,” along those lines?
HARUKA: …You’re right…
MAKOTO: I could see it in your face…
HARUKA: How about now?!
MAKOTO: Are we still doing this?! Hmm, let’s see… “I hope dinner is mackerel cooked in miso,” or something?
HARUKA: No. The correct answer is mackerel grilled with salt. I win.
MAKOTO: [laughs] Hey, what kind of contest is this?
[NAGISA opens the clubroom door]
NAGISA: All right! No one’s here yet, Rei-chan! We’re first in the clubroom today!
REI: Never mind that, Nagisa-kun. I have a question for you.
NAGISA: What is it, Rei-chan? You can ask anything about me! My birthday is August 1st. I’m a Leo. My favorite food is strawberry shortcake, and the things I dislike are math, peppers, and onions!
REI: No, that’s not what I–
NAGISA: I like to eat my favorite foods first!
REI: I said, that’s not what I’m asking. It’s about Haruka-senpai.
HARUKA: [walks in] What about me?
REI: Haruka-senpai! I was just about to ask Nagisa-kun about his relationship with you.
HARUKA: Our relationship?
NAGISA: But what part? You mean when we swam a relay together in Iwatobi SC during elementary school?
REI: I’ve already heard about that. What I don’t understand is why Nagisa-kun attaches himself so much to Haruka-senpai.
HARUKA: Attaches himself?
REI: That’s right. In Makoto-senpai’s case, he lives close to you and you’re childhood friends, so I can understand why you two are always together, but why Nagisa-kun?
MAKOTO: Oh, you do have a point.
GOU: I want to know, too!
NAGISA: Mako-chan! Gou-chan! When did you get here?
MAKOTO: Just now. But it’s true that Nagisa joined the SC after us.
GOU: You were in different elementary schools too, right?
MAKOTO: Rin also joined the SC after us, but the reason he’s obsessed over Haru is because he views him as a rival.
REI: Hmm… Nagisa-kun and Haruka-senpai don’t exactly act like rivals…
NAGISA: Then I guess it’s time I told you all now. My heartful first moment meeting Haru-chan, which I’ve never told anyone else before.
GOU: Is there some amazing episode involved?
NAGISA: Hehe, you could say that.
HARUKA: First moment? What are you talking about?
MAKOTO: You don’t remember it, Haru?
NAGISA: Ehh, that’s terrible!
HARUKA: I don’t know anything about it. Start changing, everyone, enough of this foolish talk.
[HARUKA starts to take his clothes off]
REI: Haruka-senpai! For what it’s worth, you’re still in the presence of a girl!
GOU: What do you mean, “for what it’s worth”?! Ahh, but I shouldn’t look!
MAKOTO: Hold on! Haru! You wore your swimsuit under your uniform again?!
GOU: What incredible triceps!
[HARUKA runs off]
MAKOTO: [sighs] There he goes.
NAGISA: I can’t believe Haru-chan doesn’t remember it at all! Even after he did “that” for me!
GOU: “That”? “That” what?
REI: Tell us, Nagisa-kun.
NAGISA: Okay. Oh, but since it’s boring just to talk about it, how about we do it like a quiz? Everyone tries to guess the right answer! Whoever wins will receive this Iwatobi-chan Muscle version!
REI: No thanks.
GOU: I kind of want it…
REI: Eh, you want it?!
NAGISA: Then we’ll start, with no hints!
[All three start thinking]
MAKOTO: I knew you’d say that!
NAGISA: Wrong! Remember, this is back in elementary school, so we didn’t have a lot of muscle back then.
GOU: Then, an elementary schooler’s unmuscular triceps!
REI: That doesn’t make any sense…
MAKOTO: Were you taken by the beauty of Haru’s swimming?
NAGISA: Wrong. There was that, but that wasn’t all there was.
REI: Did he give you a mackerel?
NAGISA: Wrong. I don’t like mackerel that much.
MAKOTO: Did he teach you how to swim?
NAGISA: Wrong. Haru-chan won’t really teach me that sort of thing.
GOU: I know! He gave you a penguin!
REI: Eh, a live one?
MAKOTO: That’s a new idea…
NAGISA: I want one but… wrong.
NAGISA: It’s hard without any hints, huh? Then here’s your first hint! I have three older sisters.
REI: Is that so?
MAKOTO: That counts as a hint?
GOU: Could it be that Nagisa-kun’s sisters were also enraptured by Haruka-senpai’s biceps and…!
REI: I think you need to step away from the muscles…
MAKOTO: How would biceps be involved in how Nagisa and Haru first met?
GOU: When Nagisa-kun’s sisters saw Haruka-senpai’s muscles, they told him ‘Nagisa, be friends with that boy with the wonderful muscles. To do that, you must join the same SC…’
REI: That doesn’t make any sense!
NAGISA: My sisters don’t know Haru-chan, and they don’t have a muscle fetish.
MAKOTO: If we think about this seriously, since Nagisa is surrounded by sisters, is it that you wanted an older brother to look up to?
REI: I see. We finally have a proper answer.
NAGISA: Wrong. It’s not a typical reason like that. It was something more sensational.
GOU: Was it because even though he was in elementary school, the development of his trapezius muscles was sensational?
REI: I said, step away from the muscles…
NAGISA: Hmm… Then here’s your second hint! A girl’s swimsuit!
ALL THREE: ???
REI: A girl’s swimsuit?
MAKOTO: Just how does that fit in…
GOU: Is this answer something a little extreme?
GOU: Like, maybe Haruka-senpai stole other people’s swimsuits…
MAKOTO: Haru wouldn’t do that!
REI: Then was it Nagisa who stole other people’s swimsuits and Haruka-senpai came to rescue him when he was caught in the act?
NAGISA: Hey, I don’t steal swimsuits either.
MAKOTO: Maybe Nagisa’s sister’s swimsuit got swept up by the ocean and Haru risked his life to get it back?
REI: Wait, then it would be Nagisa-kun’s sister who ends up liking Haruka-senpai.
NAGISA: I told you guys before, my sisters have never met Haru-chan. Here’s your third hint then! Despite how I look, I was a weak crybaby when I was little.
REI: Ha. Ha. Ha. What a hilarious joke.
NAGISA: It’s not a joke! You should start your guessing by accepting that first as fact!
NAGISA: You need that much time to accept it?!
ALL THREE: Hmm…
REI: I’ve got it. I’ve solved all the riddles. The hints we have so far are Nagisa-kun’s three older sisters, a girl’s swimsuit, and that Nagisa-kun used to cry a lot. From these, I’ve come up with one logical answer.
REI: Nagisa-kun ripped his sister’s swimsuit by accident and while he was going, [imitates NAGISA] “Oh no, what do I do?! My sis is going to kill me!” [normal voice] and crying on the side of the road, Haruka-senpai happened to pass by and he said, [imitates HARU] “Don’t cry, Nagisa. Leave this to me” [normal voice] and pulled an all-nighter sewing the swimsuit back together. That’s it, right?
MAKOTO: What was logical about that? And you didn’t resemble Nagisa at all…
NAGISA: Mm, but it’s close! It’s wrong but you’re heading in the right direction!
GOU: It’s close?
NAGISA: Yeah, but it’s a little different. Here’s a closing service then! You can call up one person and ask for their opinion.
REI: I see. I’ve seen that before in a quiz show. It’s called a lifeline.
GOU: I’ll ask my brother!
[GOU calls RIN]
GOU: Hello, Brother?
RIN: Hm? What’s up, Gou?
GOU: Um, I just have a small question.
GOU: Do you know how Haruka-senpai and Nagisa-kun became so close?
RIN: Huh? How would I know that? Don’t call me to ask stupid questions!
GOU: He hung up…
NAGISA: Well, I don’t think Rin-chan knew the answer anyway.
MAKOTO: It’s no use, I give up.
REI: What happened between you two?
GOU: Stop leaving us hanging and tell us!
NAGISA: Hehe. Then I’ll tell you. While I was in grades 1 to 3 of elementary school, I was often bullied a lot because of my name.
CLASS: Hey, boy-girl!
NAGISA: No, I’m a boy!
CLASS: Then why do you have a girly name like Nagisa? I saw you wearing a skirt the other day!
NAGISA: That’s because my sister made me…
CLASS: Nagisa’s crying again! He’s a crybaby girl!
NAGISA: Because of that, my dad told me to get stronger, so I joined the swimming school. That’s where I met Haru-chan.
NAGISA: Ah, I just joined today. I’m Hazuki Nagisa. Pleased to meet you.
HARUKA: I’m Nanase… Haruka.
NAGISA: Nanase-kun, your name is Haruka? You’re just like me! You have a girl’s name!
NAGISA: Ah… I’m sorry…
HARUKA: Don’t apologize.
NAGISA: Um, I get bullied a lot because of my name. Even at home, my sisters make me wear girl clothes and put make-up on me and–
HARUKA: Just get changed.
HARUKA: I told you, you don’t have to keep apologizing.
[NAGISA unzips his bag]
HARUKA: What’s wrong?
NAGISA: My swimsuit… there’s a girl’s swimsuit in my bag… This is my sister’s… That’s so mean… They did it on purpose, I just know it… Now I can’t swim… I hate swimming! [cries]
HARUKA: You can really hate swimming over something like that?
HARUKA: If you don’t like that swimsuit, you can wear mine.
NAGISA: But… then what will you do, Nanase-kun?
HARUKA: [picks up girl's swimsuit] I’ll wear this instead.
HARUKA: Being a girl or a boy doesn’t matter when you’re in the water. What you wear doesn’t matter. As long as I can swim… as long as I can feel the water… that’s all that matters.
REI: Haruka-senpai… wore a girl’s swimsuit?
MAKOTO: I had no idea! Was I absent that day?
GOU: That really doesn’t make any sense…
REI: It certainly is a sensational truth…
NAGISA: The other kids and I were really surprised, but Haru-chan wasn’t embarrassed by it at all and he wore it without hiding himself… He was really cool! When I saw him, I felt that everything that was troubling me really wasn’t that important after all.
MAKOTO: But… that was cool?
NAGISA: It was definitely cool! Even while wearing that, Haru-chan’s swimming was really pretty and it made me think that I wanted to be strong like him. I wanted to swim freely like he does.
ALL THREE: Hehh…
REI: It was a rather strange story but… I can kind of understand how you feel…
GOU: I don’t think I share the same feeling…
HARUKA: [walks up] Guys, are you still talking?
GOU: No! I’m imagining now what he just said!
HARUKA: “What he just said”?
MAKOTO: It’s nothing, Haru! C’mon guys, let’s go practice too. Get changing.
NAGISA: Yeah, you’re right. [unzips his bag] Ahhh!
REI: What’s wrong, Nagisa-kun?
NAGISA: This is my sister’s swimsuit!
NAGISA: She did it on purpose, I know she did! Even when I’m in high school, she still plays these tricks on me! That’s so mean!
HARUKA: I’ll lend you mine.
MAKOTO: Wait, then what will you do, Haru?
REI: Don’t do it! It’s just a really bad thing to do!
GOU: But I kind of want to see it! But I’m scared to see it! But I want to see it! Which is it?!!! What do I do?!!!
HARUKA: What are you guys talking about? I have an extra one, so he can borrow that one.
NAGISA: Thanks, Haru-chan!
HARUKA: I don’t want to hear you saying again that you hate swimming.
NAGISA: …You DO remember! Haru-chan!
HARUKA: Stop, Nagisa! Don’t hug me! Watch out!
NAGISA: Haru-chan! I love you!
[Samezuka Academy pool. MIKOSHIBA blows a whistle]
MIKOSHIBA: Gather up, guys! As you all know, we’ll be holding our culture festival soon. And, as tradition demands of us every year, our swim club will be participating!
RIN: Are we going to do a performance or work a food cart?
NITORI: Matsuoka-senpai, don’t you know about Samezuka swim club’s traditional program?
RIN: Hm? What do you mean, Nitori?
NITORI: Matsuoka-senpai! I don’t want to do this either, but we have to! Hurry up and change!
RIN: I said, no! Why is our traditional program a maid cafe?!
NITORI: You have a pretty face so I’m sure you’ll look good wearing a maid outfit!
RIN: That doesn’t make me happy! Like hell I’m gonna wear this frilly thing!
NITORI: But it’s a rule that’s been passed down generations through the swim club. We have no choice.
RIN: I want to ram my fist into the face of the alumni who first thought of it.
NITORI: All club members are forced to participate in this maid cafe. If you refuse to participate, then it’s custom that you quit the club. It’s no use resisting.
RIN: I quit.
NITORI: [grabs RIN trying to leave] Senpai! Please don’t say that!
RIN: Nitori, let me go!
NITORI: J-Just the morning then! Just the morning, please, Senpai!
RIN: Let me go!
NITORI: Do you really want to quit the club over something– over something incredibly dumb like this? You’re going to the Olympics, aren’t you?
RIN: Fine. Just the morning… Got that?!
RIN: Damn it… why do I have to wear this…
NITORI: Now, now, Senpai!
MIKOSHIBA: Hey, Matsuoka! That maid outfit looks good on you!
RIN: That doesn’t make me happy! Why are you dressed as a butler, Captain Mikoshiba?! What happened to crossdressing?! Isn’t it a tradition?!
MIKOSHIBA: The tradition is that third-years are butlers while the first and second-years are maids.
MIKOSHIBA: Nitori, you have a small frame so it looks good on you too.
NITORI: What are you talking about? There’s someone here who looks more wonderful than I do.
MIKOSHIBA: I know, I know. Matsuoka dressed as a maid is like Mount Everest-level of super, right?
NITORI: As long as you know that.
RIN: Nitori, keep your mouth shut.
NITORI: Senpai, you have a pretty face and the length of your hair matches the white headdress.
NITORI: This maid outfit has leg of mutton sleeves, so it hides well your arm muscles and shoulders that you’ve trained through swimming.
RIN: Shut up…
NITORI: Your legs that I can glimpse through your petticoat are so tight and wonderful!
RIN: SHUT UP, NITORI.
MIKOSHIBA: Nitori… you’re very knowledgeable on this stuff.
NITORI: Yes! I read up on it yesterday so that I can have an answer ready whenever my Senpai ask.
RIN: Don’t make use of a weird talent!
NITORI: [pulls out his phone] Can I take a picture?
NITORI: Ow ow ow ow ow!
RIN: I am using the Iron Claw on you right now.
NITORI: Se-Senpai… my head… my head… you’re crushing my head…
RIN: I am using the Iron Claw on you right now.
NITORI: Senpai, are you a tsundere maid?!
MIKOSHIBA: Oh, come to think of it… I spotted Gou-kun earlier.
RIN: HUUHHHH?! I didn’t tell her about the festival!
NITORI: Senpai, senpai. Look.
RIN: What, Nitori? What’s there to look about the festival poster?
NITORI: That poster advertising our school festival was distributed throughout the whole town.
RIN: Eh?! …You…
NITORI: Senpai? Are you okay?
RIN: SHUT UP.
MIKOSHIBA: Oh, speak of the devil! There’s Gou-kun now!
GOU: [runs up] I came here to v– Brother… your outfit…
GOU: You look so pretty!
NITORI: Doesn’t he?!
GOU: Even in your maid outfit, I can tell you have huge pecs!
NITORI: As expected from the little sister!
MIKOSHIBA: Hey there, Gou-kun. I’m getting my break in just a minute, so why don’t you and I circle the festi–
RIN: Gou! Wait for me ten more minutes. Since you’re here, I’ll take you around the place.
GOU: …! Okay!
MIKOSHIBA: –together for dinner… Huh?
NITORI: [pats MIKOSHIBA on the shoulder] Captain Mikoshiba… don’t mind.
 Nagisa probably meant “Iwatobi kuri-pan” which is “Iwatobi chestnut bread,” but he stressed the wrong syllables and said “Iwa to bikkuri-pan,” literally “Rock and Surprise bread.” I translated it as “Rock and hopping” to include the “Iwatobi” (rockhopper) part of it. Alternate interpretation